Just Give Me A Reason

This has been a song that keeps popping up whenever I’ve gotten worried or frustrated lately, not to mention when I was having a little freak out about a really bad dream yesterday. It seems to fit with allot of what’s been going around lately so i thought I’d post it for Him.

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Things to do in the Silent Time

I just had to reblog this since I know to some extent what it is Julia is experiencing with the Silence and I also know what it’s like to try and explain something that has just always been for you. My time of silence came after my youngest daughter was born Loki had been so close before that, but when she was just a little over a week old and Loki was sure I was on the mend, He announced that He would be backing away for awhile. She’s important right now she needs to be your main focus for a time don’t worry I’ll be back, but it wouldn’t be fair for Me to ask you to try and divide your time between us right now. He promised to watch out for usand to come around occasionally but for the better part of a year Loki kept His promise to let me focus on Emily. That’s why I wasn’t very active in the community I wasn’t having many experiences with Him during that time. Some days I was too busy and too totally in love this this little person who I knew would be my last baby to really notice His absence. Other days I missed Him terribly but no amount of begging made Him show up. There were days when I started to wonder if I had imagined it all, but then there were things I knew I hadn’t imagined. My son still had regular contact with Loki and I would occasionally catch glimpses of Him whenever Nathan was around. No I wasn’t crazy, or being punished or ignored it was just a season apart. When He came back He came back full force making it clear He’d missed me too. When he came back He made it clear that it was time to get down to work. There are still days where He’s quiet, but there is the knowledge that it’s temporary He’s a God He gets busy sometimes.

 

I’m not sure what to make of others on the path sometimes I don’t know as much as Julia I’m fairly new to this and see myself as a student. However I’m old enough to start looking back on my twenties and wondering where all the time went while staring down 40 which is just a few short years off and thinking what have I really done with my life. I still have my moments of immaturity but at least now I mostly recognize that I’m being an ass when it happens doesn’t always stop me but at least I’m willing to admit I’m wrong once I’ve calmed down. I guess we all have our moments though no matter whether we’re twenty-something, soon to be thirty-six or any age after that. I don’t know exactly how to address the anger and frustration of others who are struggling to find their place on the path. For me it kind of happened I don’t think easily is the right word, but naturally maybe. I was seeing and hearing spirit from my earliest memories I have a hard time explaining it to people with communication problems because it’s always been a part of me I don’t know how or why it just was. I know it doesn’t sound fair but I never asked for it and I don’t know how to teach something I don’t remember learning. For me it was completely opposite I had to learn how to turn it off or block it out for my own sanity. I was one of those kids that “saw dead people”. I had an imaginary friend who had loved irony the name Loki told me to call Him as a child was Jake. Loki was throwing clue-by-fours my way at the tender age of four. I would grow up and almost forget about Him except for the times when that voice from childhood would show back up and save my ass on more than one occasion. For me I never struggled to hear or see I just did. Loki showed back up and as soon as I had accepted that He was real, not a negative entity and that somehow I had attracted the attention of a God he started talking marriage. The majority of my experience with Loki has been as a child under His protection or as a godspouse. That is my frame of reference for better or worse. I can only try explain the Loki I know if that offends you I don’t know what else to say. It doesn’t make me any better than anyone else, or any closer to Him I don’t think, since relationships of all kinds can be very deep and meaningful. It’s just me saying as much as I may want to help sometimes I don’t know how, because I never walked that path.

Day 17 Say What Now?

Last night on Facebook I ran across one of the most disrespectful comments about a person and their relationship to their deity I’ve ever seen. It went like this names have been redacted.

  • He has done so much for me. Made me so much stronger of a person. I think that he builds up those that need it, regardless of how one presents themselves to the physical world. It’s not like He builds up an ‘army’ of the weak, He brings us up out of LOVE.
    Even those who do not need to be brought up from the shallows will be embraced. I have always seen Him as LOVE.
    12 hours ago via mobile · Like · 1
  •  Sorry but I have to call bullshit here personally. LOVE? REALLY. Are you sure you haven’t just made over Jesus with a Norse accent? Never read a bigger pile of bullshit in my life.
  •  why are you in this community?
  •  I’ve been in this community since it was created thanks. Why are you here?
  •  so then why would you say something like that to someone?
  • and i didn’t ask how long you’ve been here.
  • Why? Because its utter bullshit that’s why. This is ———-   —–  and I think its pretty ridiculous for anyone to associate LOKI with LOVE? I mean there is a certain amount of upg one can stomach but I draw the line at complete and utter bullshit with no basis and REALITY. I personally feel that to to associate Loki with Love is both disrespectful to what he is, an highly ignorant. But perhaps that is exactly what he wants such a person to think, so that he can utterly destroy there illusions in the future so they can start clean. Just my opinion, you don’t have to agree.
    Really what right does anyone have to tell someone else what their UPG should be and how their deity should be presenting His/Herself to them. The person went on to argue once they got called on their crap by moderators that they simply don’t associate Loki with Love as in He isn’t a God of Love. Well of course Loki isn’t a God of Love, but He is capable of the emotion, and does show it to His followers in many varied and meaningful ways. For some of His followers this is the deepest insult someone could throw at Him because He taught them how to love. Not everyone comes from a good stable home. Not everyone gets good examples of what love is and how to give and receive it. Some people have been victims of abuse and walk away with scars you can’t even imagine, and warped views about things like love. Are you saying these people are just damaged goods too fucked up for even the Gods to fix? Our world is full of the walking wounded. People who should have just laid down and died already took that bottle of pills, cut just a little deeper last time. Loki gravitates toward these people, not because He’s doing “charity work” or scraping the bottom of the barrel of humanity for followers. It’s because He understands in a very deep takes one to know one sort of way. Loki has been the outcast, the loser, the criminal, the misfit, the prisoner, the crazy one all that and more. He’s been there and survived. He knows a little secret about these kinds of people the ones that life has put through they wringer, they’re stronger than they think.
    Survivors our society has allot of perceptions of them, but mostly they are the tenacious ones, the persistent ones that keep doing what they’re doing, that keep hanging one when everyone tells them to just give up and go away already. They are the hopeful ones with that spark of something inside that just won’t go out completely no matter what gets thrown at them. Sure they’re messed up, depressed, anxious, socially awkward, defensive, PTSD the just plain fucked up, and whatever other term psychiatry or society might label them with. Thing is when these people get they’re shit together they are an unstoppable force they know how to get shit done. They were doing it before without the proper tools such as an understanding of love and a healthy self-esteem. Once they have that look out, because nothing is going to stop them now! Have you never noticed how the people who have been through Loki’s bootcamp are crazy productive? Imagine for a moment if you will that you are a God who would you look for if you had a mind to build a strong productive community of followers who could get your work done. Would you go after the people who’ve had it easy in life and have never had to struggle just to make it through the  next hour much less the day, or someone who knows struggle and knows how to fight through to the other side of any situation? Would you want followers who would walk away when things got tough, or stick it out with the knowledge that it will get better eventually? Someone used to instant gratification, or someone who knows how to patiently wait? Loki has a plan in all this He knows what He’s doing those He calls are here for a reason even if they may not see it for themselves at the moment.
    Does that make me sound Like I gave Jesus a Norse accent well maybe to some it does, but you know all religions hold things in common. Certain themes and universal truths remain whether you worship Loki, Jesus or the Flying Spaghetti Monster. We reach out to a deity in need and to feel loved and cared for by something bigger than us. We look to learn and be transformed. The deity looks for love and devotion, those that they can work with and through who will be their representatives here on earth. Catholic priest or Wiccan priestess you serve your community of followers. Gythia or preacher you serve your people, Buddhist monk or Catholic one, Catholic nun or Lokean nun their life is dedicated to their deity. Pagan blogger, or door to door evangelist we are both promoting our beliefs. I might not be knocking on your door to do it, but if you happen to disagree with me aren’t I just as annoying? See we all have things in common seeing a commonality in deity relationship does not make someone’s experience with Loki “Giving Jesus a Norse accent.” Loki cares for His followers and He loves them. As one of His wives why would I ever enter into that sort of relationship with Someone so much bigger and more powerful than myself if I wasn’t sure of His love for me? How do I know He loves me He shows it. Loki has done amazing things in my life and things that are tender, sweet and meaningful to me and me alone. That may be just UPG as you say, but it is my UPG, my truth, and how dare anyone presume to know better than I what goes on privately between me and Him. Loki is capable of love He loves deeply and will sometimes spend years putting together circumstances just so He can show one of His just how much He loves them. Loki might put you through some stuff to teach you how to give and receive love, but it’s done out of love not a desire to “utterly destroy there illusions in the future so they can start clean.” Why spend so much effort building someone up just to knock them back down?
    I know there are those who dislike Loki, or outright hate Him who cannot fathom raising the horn to Him much less loving and trusting Him. Before you come at me with you’re whole “Let me verbally abuse the poor misguided Lokean and try and set her straight” bullshit think for a moment. Stop treating me like the idiot who just doesn’t know better, because obviously if I’m in love with Loki I’m not right in the head. Consider why it is that those of us who are Loki’s especially those of us that belong to Him in deeply intimate ways are so quick to fiercely defend Him. Do you think maybe we see something you don’t? Maybe we have experienced a side of Him not represented in the heavily Christianized lore you love thumping so much? Yes dipshit crack open a history book or read a scholarly research paper Snorri was a Christian. He needed a devil figure Loki was made to fit the bill. So if you can turn my Loki into Lucifer why can’t I turn Him into Jesus if I’m so inclined, not that I am mind you, but fair is fair right? Still why not respectfully ask me what it is that has drawn me to Loki and when I tell you please don’t come back with “I did not enter into a relationship with mine for any reason other than because I was drawn to them. It certainly wasn’t for some sort of emotional reward.” Loki came when I needed Him I didn’t go looking for Him for any sort of emotional reward that just happened to be an added perk knowing Him. Loki makes me happy so therefore my experiences with Him are less valid that’s some twisted logic there. The point is Lokeans do see something good and worthwhile in Loki. If asked most of them will tell you He has a huge capacity for love. He’s fixed allot of us and taught us many things, some of His lessons are hard but needed. No He’s not perfect, and He’s no Jesus, but He’s no devil either. He’s Loki, and He can love.