So another song Loki has communicated to me with. Things have been super rough lately as far as finances go. It’s been one of those situations where we just can’t seem to get ahead no matter what we do. Last night I was talking to a friend about it telling her how I didn’t feel right about going to Loki with those problems. I’d been chastised in a forum group for treating Loki like a replacement for Jesus, and told I was a delusional Lokean and a fake Pagan because I mentioned times when Loki had helped me. My friend in her wisdom told me to just talk to him if for no other reason than to get my worries off my chest . This morning after dropping the mortal spouse off at work I decided to talk to Loki on the drive back home as I pulled onto the driveway to our house this started playing
It’s been awhile since I’ve posted mostly because I went back to college to get a degree as a paralegal. It seems the only writing I’ve been able to complete lately has been essays, term papers and legal briefs. Plus at least in my relationship with Loki things seem to go in cycles and seasons Loki is always most present during the warmer months then I don’t see or hear from Him much from say mid-November through March. Once the growing season begins and things turn warm Loki is back right on up through harvest time. It’s just a pattern I’ve noticed over the past several years.
Loki is definitely back and as usual He brings many changes. This year He was very big on the idea of starting a garden I got most of what He wanted done, of course I fell a bit short on cash for all the things He wanted planted. There’s been many suggestions of doing some traveling this summer. Lots of suggestions of going camping, or to the beach, or hey let’s go camping on the beach. I know Loki likes to travel, and it’s something I haven’t gotten much of a chance to do in a long time even though it is something I love too. Those have been Loki’s influences in my day to day life.
In spiritual matters things are turning quite serious again. Loki wants me to start journeying again seems I have lessons to learn Elsewhere again. Loki through me for a bit of a loop recently I had a wedding to Him here, but He never really pushed for one Elsewhere now it seems to be very important to Him. Loki has also stressed getting to know my Disir and starting to honor my ancestors. Despite having read plenty about it especially, on Galina Krasscova’s blog, it’s just something I’ve avoided mostly because my most immediate kin who’ve passed away were fundamentalist Christians, and I’m not sure they’d approve of my going Pagan. Secondly, my dad was adopted and my mother grew up in the foster care system. I don’t know much about either side of the bio family. I know a bit from research I did, but there are more holes to be filled in than things I know for sure about any of them. I’ll try it and see how it goes.
There has also been more interactions with those closest to Loki. Hel has shown up mostly requesting her own alter space, and letting me know there’s a Day of the Dead skull figurine that she really likes that would be perfect on her alter. Besides Hel, I’m having more more interaction with Odin and Angrboda. It would seem that They have been dropping anvil sized hints about the work They want me to do for over a year, and I’d been missing it until recently. When I decided to go back to school I thought it had little to do with any plan They had I even doubted myself as a godspouse because everyone else seemed to have some work to do for Them. Bloggers, spiritworkers, people who could do divination, healers, craftspeople, artists, community leaders, and so on and here I was doing nothing. Then I noticed a certain pull to certain topics I kept coming across articles about feminism and women’s rights, LGBT rights such as gay marriage, the fact that their is still so much racism in America, religious freedom such as the legal battle the Maetreum of Cybele is involved in all these topics I became passionate about. Then it hit me I have a deep interest in Constitutional law if I go into any type of law it will be fighting for the basic rights of others. Shortly after Loki informed me you’ve found your passion and your calling. “We want people willing to fight for our people, and the causes important to Us and them.” He explained not all battles need be fought with weapons some need to be fought with words and intellect. So I’m going to get my degree as a paralegal, and then go on to law school. Besides my college professors it seems that there will be lesson from Loki and Angrboda. Angrboda seems to want to teach me more about diversity and marginalized groups. Odin simply wants an oath that my career will be devoted to helping people in the Pagan/Heathen/Wiccan community.
Getting back to the topic of my Disir Loki has pointed out that he would like me to study one aspect of my ancestry I haven’t explored much. I spent a good couple years trying to trace down my dad’s biological family’s roots and confirming that yes indeed my dad does have Native American ancestry. I’ve learned what I can about the culture and spirituality of that side of the family and incorporated some Native American practices into my own devotional work. My mom’s maiden name is McGee so it’s pretty obvious she has Scottish ancestry. Loki has mentioned what Norse ancestry I have comes mainly from that side of the family, and that it’s a pretty even mix of Norse and Celtic ancestry. So Loki has encouraged me to learn a bit about the Celtic Gods. In doing so I came across this article http://www.druidry.org/library/gods-goddesses/norse-loki-and-celtic-lugh . It certainly brings up an interesting theory I’m not entirely sure if there is a connection or what exactly it is if there is one but I’d love to hear any UPG or research that anyone has on the topic.
So Loki has been doing a little “fixing” me lately and I’m not coping as well as I’d like and right now this is kinda how I’m feeling. I’ll be just fine again soon enough but things have been a little emotional this week.
Last night on Facebook I ran across one of the most disrespectful comments about a person and their relationship to their deity I’ve ever seen. It went like this names have been redacted.
He has done so much for me. Made me so much stronger of a person. I think that he builds up those that need it, regardless of how one presents themselves to the physical world. It’s not like He builds up an ‘army’ of the weak, He brings us up out of LOVE.
Even those who do not need to be brought up from the shallows will be embraced. I have always seen Him as LOVE.
Why? Because its utter bullshit that’s why. This is ———- —– and I think its pretty ridiculous for anyone to associate LOKI with LOVE? I mean there is a certain amount of upg one can stomach but I draw the line at complete and utter bullshit with no basis and REALITY. I personally feel that to to associate Loki with Love is both disrespectful to what he is, an highly ignorant. But perhaps that is exactly what he wants such a person to think, so that he can utterly destroy there illusions in the future so they can start clean. Just my opinion, you don’t have to agree.Really what right does anyone have to tell someone else what their UPG should be and how their deity should be presenting His/Herself to them. The person went on to argue once they got called on their crap by moderators that they simply don’t associate Loki with Love as in He isn’t a God of Love. Well of course Loki isn’t a God of Love, but He is capable of the emotion, and does show it to His followers in many varied and meaningful ways. For some of His followers this is the deepest insult someone could throw at Him because He taught them how to love. Not everyone comes from a good stable home. Not everyone gets good examples of what love is and how to give and receive it. Some people have been victims of abuse and walk away with scars you can’t even imagine, and warped views about things like love. Are you saying these people are just damaged goods too fucked up for even the Gods to fix? Our world is full of the walking wounded. People who should have just laid down and died already took that bottle of pills, cut just a little deeper last time. Loki gravitates toward these people, not because He’s doing “charity work” or scraping the bottom of the barrel of humanity for followers. It’s because He understands in a very deep takes one to know one sort of way. Loki has been the outcast, the loser, the criminal, the misfit, the prisoner, the crazy one all that and more. He’s been there and survived. He knows a little secret about these kinds of people the ones that life has put through they wringer, they’re stronger than they think.Survivors our society has allot of perceptions of them, but mostly they are the tenacious ones, the persistent ones that keep doing what they’re doing, that keep hanging one when everyone tells them to just give up and go away already. They are the hopeful ones with that spark of something inside that just won’t go out completely no matter what gets thrown at them. Sure they’re messed up, depressed, anxious, socially awkward, defensive, PTSD the just plain fucked up, and whatever other term psychiatry or society might label them with. Thing is when these people get they’re shit together they are an unstoppable force they know how to get shit done. They were doing it before without the proper tools such as an understanding of love and a healthy self-esteem. Once they have that look out, because nothing is going to stop them now! Have you never noticed how the people who have been through Loki’s bootcamp are crazy productive? Imagine for a moment if you will that you are a God who would you look for if you had a mind to build a strong productive community of followers who could get your work done. Would you go after the people who’ve had it easy in life and have never had to struggle just to make it through the next hour much less the day, or someone who knows struggle and knows how to fight through to the other side of any situation? Would you want followers who would walk away when things got tough, or stick it out with the knowledge that it will get better eventually? Someone used to instant gratification, or someone who knows how to patiently wait? Loki has a plan in all this He knows what He’s doing those He calls are here for a reason even if they may not see it for themselves at the moment.Does that make me sound Like I gave Jesus a Norse accent well maybe to some it does, but you know all religions hold things in common. Certain themes and universal truths remain whether you worship Loki, Jesus or the Flying Spaghetti Monster. We reach out to a deity in need and to feel loved and cared for by something bigger than us. We look to learn and be transformed. The deity looks for love and devotion, those that they can work with and through who will be their representatives here on earth. Catholic priest or Wiccan priestess you serve your community of followers. Gythia or preacher you serve your people, Buddhist monk or Catholic one, Catholic nun or Lokean nun their life is dedicated to their deity. Pagan blogger, or door to door evangelist we are both promoting our beliefs. I might not be knocking on your door to do it, but if you happen to disagree with me aren’t I just as annoying? See we all have things in common seeing a commonality in deity relationship does not make someone’s experience with Loki “Giving Jesus a Norse accent.” Loki cares for His followers and He loves them. As one of His wives why would I ever enter into that sort of relationship with Someone so much bigger and more powerful than myself if I wasn’t sure of His love for me? How do I know He loves me He shows it. Loki has done amazing things in my life and things that are tender, sweet and meaningful to me and me alone. That may be just UPG as you say, but it is my UPG, my truth, and how dare anyone presume to know better than I what goes on privately between me and Him. Loki is capable of love He loves deeply and will sometimes spend years putting together circumstances just so He can show one of His just how much He loves them. Loki might put you through some stuff to teach you how to give and receive love, but it’s done out of love not a desire to “utterly destroy there illusions in the future so they can start clean.” Why spend so much effort building someone up just to knock them back down?I know there are those who dislike Loki, or outright hate Him who cannot fathom raising the horn to Him much less loving and trusting Him. Before you come at me with you’re whole “Let me verbally abuse the poor misguided Lokean and try and set her straight” bullshit think for a moment. Stop treating me like the idiot who just doesn’t know better, because obviously if I’m in love with Loki I’m not right in the head. Consider why it is that those of us who are Loki’s especially those of us that belong to Him in deeply intimate ways are so quick to fiercely defend Him. Do you think maybe we see something you don’t? Maybe we have experienced a side of Him not represented in the heavily Christianized lore you love thumping so much? Yes dipshit crack open a history book or read a scholarly research paper Snorri was a Christian. He needed a devil figure Loki was made to fit the bill. So if you can turn my Loki into Lucifer why can’t I turn Him into Jesus if I’m so inclined, not that I am mind you, but fair is fair right? Still why not respectfully ask me what it is that has drawn me to Loki and when I tell you please don’t come back with “I did not enter into a relationship with mine for any reason other than because I was drawn to them. It certainly wasn’t for some sort of emotional reward.” Loki came when I needed Him I didn’t go looking for Him for any sort of emotional reward that just happened to be an added perk knowing Him. Loki makes me happy so therefore my experiences with Him are less valid that’s some twisted logic there. The point is Lokeans do see something good and worthwhile in Loki. If asked most of them will tell you He has a huge capacity for love. He’s fixed allot of us and taught us many things, some of His lessons are hard but needed. No He’s not perfect, and He’s no Jesus, but He’s no devil either. He’s Loki, and He can love.
Someone recently posted this on Facebook and I have to give these girls props this song is awesome. The group is called Sassafras and the song is called My Brother, My Enemy.
This was my jam back in my teens when my step-mother would pisss me off by going trough my writings for more “proof” that I was crazy and that my dad needed to have me locked up. Even little works of fiction with even the slightest dark or fantasy elements were used against me, I used to slam my door and crank this song up till the walls rattled in response to her “concerns”. The other day I was giving the album a re-listen while contemplating losing my shit with the entire Lokean community and posting something that would probably have went over about as well as Loki’s telling off the rest of the Gods (PMS makes me one crazy bitch) Anyways he pops up and says “You know I really like that songs too, and yes come to think of it, it is very Me ”
One of the things I’ve noticed about becoming Pagan especially in certain areas is the sense of a loss of community. When I was a Christian there was no shortage of places to go to worship and groups to do all sorts of things with. There were study groups, choirs, women’s groups, prayer groups, single’s groups, mom’s groups and on and on. Try finding that if you are a brand new Pagan who happens to be following Loki. If you can even find a Kindred in your area that doesn’t have the crazy militia or Neo Nazi vibe going on it’s still not a sure thing that Loki and one of His would be welcome. Thank the Gods for the internet it has kept me mostly sane for the past couple years, and helped me find a new friend who lives close enough that I could actually make a day trip of a visit to meet her and look into joining the Kindred she is starting up. Things went really well and everyone that showed up seemed to be very nice and like-minded. So today I’d just like to thanks Loki for returning that sense of community that I once enjoyed before leaving Christianity. It’s been a little over three years since I’ve been able to discuss what I believe with a group of like-minded people outside of the internet. I’d almost forgotten how good it felt to have that kind of group dynamic, and how much you can learn from just listening to others. Thank you Loki I don’t think I had even realized just how much I’d missed that.